According to a recent study by the New York Times, the Supreme Court’s oral arguments are getting funnier. More specifically, the number of times a Justice’s remarks have evoked laughter has increased. The Times study found “the average number of justice-generated laughs per argument rising to 2.9 from 2.6 the previous term.”

Some other interesting data:

• Justice Breyer seems to be the funniest Justice, having thusfar evoked 28 laughs in the present term.
• Justice Scalia is the second funniest Justice, with 25 laughs in the present term.
• Justice Thomas, unsurprisingly, is the least funny Justice. He rarely speaks during oral arguments and, when he does, his comments have never given rise to laughter.

Of course, what is funny to lawyers is not necessarily funny for others. Consider Chief Justice Roberts’ knee-slapper, “The relationship between the states and the federal government has changed a little since Gibbons v. Ogden.” For this understatement, Roberts got a laugh.

The Seattle Times is the Seattle-area’s most popular newspaper. So, what do Seattlites like to read about?

Humorously, this year’s most read story on the Seattle Times website involved a man who died from having sex with a horse. Perhaps more embarassing, 3 of the top 6 most read stories involved this same horse-sex incident.

Upon reading my Title, I bet 75-80% of you had something along the lines of “Oh GREAT. Anything tediously hyperbolic titling by Evin, the humor whore.” flicker through your minds. No, that’s Ok. I understand. But this, this is something the likes of which I have never seen before. It is simply brilliant. It has to be funniest thing SNL has aired in the last five years. What is it, you ask? Let’s just say it’s a hard-core gangster rap about a couple of guys who spend their “lazy sunday” checking out the Chronicles of Narnia at a nearby theater. There, you’re buttered up now.
ENTER
the brilliance.

It’s easy, of course, to pick on FOX News. But the truth is that with its consistent lead in the ratings, the other cable news outfits, CNN and MSNB-something, have for some time been scrambling to imitate it, which means that whatever difference there once was between FOX and the others is now disappearing. In all cable news, sensationalism and trite cliches trump objective, thoughtful journalism.

Consider last week, Christmas Eve. If you’re like me, you were confused to see CNN, FOX News, and MSNBC all scrambling to cover another story about Alito and abortion. It seemed strangely familar: a newly-released memo written by SC nominee Alito when he was a staff attorney in the Reagan administration revealing his belief that Roe v. Wade should be overturned. Here is Howard Kurtz’s account:

At 9:35, CNN anchor Soledad O’Brien reported … with a “Just In” banner on the screen, saying: “Obviously, this will put a little fuel in the fire for people who are very contentiously debating Samuel Alito as a nominee.” She then asked White House reporter Elaine Quijano for reaction.

At 9:36, Fox anchor Jon Scott reported the … “Fox News Alert,” saying, “We don’t know a great deal more about it” and promising updated information as it became available.”

At 10:00, MSNBC anchor Amy Robach reported the story, saying “it is adding more fuel now to the abortion debate.”

Watching CNN and FOX during all this (I usually don’t bother with MSN-whatever) I was thinking, Hasn’t there already been documents released showing that Alito, as a government attorney in the 1980s, believed that Roe v. Wade should be overturned? Why is this news? What’s new now?

Apparently nothing. The “newly-released” document was released nearly a month ago and got huge coverage at the time. In there hurry to scoop their competitors, each cable news channce failed to notice that document was not new news, but rather month-old news. Interestingly, the only real difference between FOX and its competitors that subsists is their huge lead in the ratings.

Here’s the first of a two-part holiday special, The Sad State of Cable News. This part begins, most appropriately with FOX News.

If you are not as lucky as me, you missed John Gibson losing his temper on his own live television show [video here] when one of his guests, Rob Boston, called him a “liar” for fabricating facts in his recent book, The War on Christmas. (I don’t know if Gibson’s books is factually inaccurate, but Bill O’Reilly has fabricated facts to support his personal War to Save Christmas.) Angered by Boston’s allegations, Gibson (whom Slate humorously but accurately describes as an “albino werewolf”) began screaming at his guest, concluding by yelling “You are wrong, and now you’re a liar!,” and unceremoniously ending the interview by cutting the Boston’s audio and video feed.

After the show, later that same evening, Gibson telephoned Boston, and after further instigation, threatened Boston, “Don’t come in where I drink… Don’t come visit a bar when I’m in there.” After Rob asked if Gibson was threatening him, Gibson hung up on him.

My ultimate goal, of course, has for some time been to become one of these talking head guests on a show like Gibson’s Big Story. But after reading Slate’s guide to becoming a cable news pundit, I don’t think it’ll be all that hard.

What do you have to do to qualify for the title of strategist? Nothing! Like journalists, political strategists aren’t credentialed. If you can get somebody to call you a Democratic strategist, you are one! … The toughest part of the job is developing the ability to reduce everything in the news to the party’s latest talking points…. “Clinton was worse on this than Bush” or its opposite is a perfectly acceptable answer to almost any question…. And no matter what you do, don’t answer … questions with the preface, “It’s very complicated.” TV isn’t the place for complicated discussions of politics. Save your learned dissertation for that 500-word newspaper op-ed you’re hoping to place in USA Today.

Or maybe it won’t be easy. Maybe I should aim lower. Or maybe I should aim higher.

I was recently doing the online application to the UMASS Amherst grad school (MAT Latin), when I happened upon a most wondrous thing. It happened in the normally ho-hum world of Ethnic Information. Here is what I saw. (notice how normal everything is, UNTIL the very end).

In cooperation with the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination in implementing our Affirmative Action Program, the following optional information is requested only of U.S. citizens and permanent residents. The information in this section will be used for reporting and programmatic purposes only.

Please check applicable button.

American Indian or Alaskan Native
o Person having origins in any of the original peoples of North America, and who maintains cultural identification through tribal affiliation or community recognition.
African American, not of Hispanic Origin
o Person having origins in any of the Black racial groups in Africa.
Hispanic
o Person of Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Central or South American culture or other Spanish culture or origin, regardless of race.
Asian or Pacific Islander
o Person having origins in the Far East, Southeast Asia, the Indian sub-continent or the Pacific Islands. This area includes, for example, China, Japan, Korea, the Phillipine Islands, Samos, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Sikkan, and Bhutan.
White, not of Hispanic Origin
o Person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, North Africa, or the Middle East.
Cape Verdean
o Person having origins in the Cape Verde Islands off the coast of West Africa.

Cape Verdean? What the hell? Does everybody in the world fit into distinct national demographic categories except for the Cape Verdeans? Who gave UMASS the “Green” light to do this anyway? My only guess is that UMASS has some kind of collaboration with these strange, exotic peoples and gives them tuition discounts — like a big brother/ little country kind of thing. Any other guesses?

Sometimes, we all need a little of that magic Christmas spirit to really remind us what the holidays are all about…

Just thought I´d let you know I´m alive and well in Patagonia. I´ve also been wearing some of my Patagonia brand clothing and it seems perfectly suited for the cold, wet conditions!!!!!

We did some backpacking near Bariloche at the northern end of Patagonia before heading to Rio Gallegos via a 28 hour bus trip. Rio Gallegos is pretty cold and boring, but as the only major town (90,000 people) in the area most of the bus traffic goes through here. later this afternoon we are headed to Torres del Paine National Park in Chile (pictured above) for about a week. Hopefully being there over the holidays will mean fewer people. After that, we head back into Argentina and north a bit to see the Fitz Roys.

Then we´ll make our way (hopefully through the temperate rainforrest of southern chile) back to the sweltering heat of Mendoza. Soon thereafter, Renata will be flying back home for the start of the semmester. I´ll have about two more weeks in Mendoza, during which time Tanner and I are going to climb some peaks in the Cordon del Plata Range. We have a definite goal of a peak at 5,400 meters, and if we are really feeling good at that altitude, a possible goal of a peak just over 6,000 meters.

I´ve bought my ticket home, and will be getting back to fayetteville on the morning of Feb. 1st 2006

sorry I´m missing the fun in f-town over x-mas

Dudes and non-dudes who are blogsters, when are we making this shindig happen? Since the Murdz will only be in the uhrea f/m the 24th-27th, I say we do this diddy on the 26th.

Does anyone have a gathering place in mind and/or accomodations (floor space) for a traveler who doesn’t want to drive back to OK after a late night of Diet Cokes and Kierkegaard?

Peace, and good will toward wo/men.

Happy Chrismahannakwanzikah!

And to think I was afraid that going to law school would make me not only lose my edge, but also my cool.

Pit Bull Lawyers.

P.S. Does anyone remember when Mohs tried to get his edge back?

Does anyone have an opinion on the execution of Stanley “Tookie” Williams?

I haven’t done much research beyond what’s on Wikipedia, and really haven’t done the background sleuthing into the opinions of the victims’ families.

On our law school listserv there has been a lot of back and forth that often includes emotional attacks-hopefully fueled by finals, primarily, but sadly I know better. Generally, it has evolved into a death penalty debate in general.

I just thought I’d put it out there for discussion if there is any.

My take: I’m against the death penalty generally. But I’d rather take the death penalty as an un-debatable constant in this situation and discuss whether Tookie deserved clemency or what he got. Yes, I do believe that this is possible without arguing the effectiveness/validity/salience of the death penalty on its own. Also, there are arguments regarding the “reformability” of a person to be made and how to determine the permanence of those reforms.As a person who is quite flawed and has committed many wrongs–even deeply hurting people I love–I do believe that reform is possible through a true and proven-over-time change in character*.

The question becomes, however, does reform warrant clemency (legal clemency)? And, is there a proportional relationship between the wrong and the reform? For instance, in Tookie’s case, are his actions (writing books, telling kids not to join gangs) enough to prove, in your mind, that he deserved clemency? In my mind, no. I don’t think he did everything possible to show that he was truly repentant and had changed. Did he do LOTS of good? YES! But perhaps he could have been more helpful bringing down other Crips who had committed crimes, or offered apologies, or admitted the crimes (this is assuming that he did commit the four murders). In other words, put EVERY effort into proving his reformation that would lessen the primary assumption that the reason he did all of the positive things he did was solely to escape the death penalty.

Any thoughts?

*I must admit unequivocally that I believe a true transformation/reformation comes only through a relationship with Jesus. I also realize that this is not an argument to be made in court, or to the Governator in Tookie’s case, and probably doesn’t ring true on this blog. (therefore it cannot be grounds for legal clemency) Furthermore, I DO NOT believe that if a person “finds Jesus” in the county jail or elsewhere in life they should be granted clemency or are absolved of the natural consequences of their actions. Although nobody can earn their “salvation” the proof of the transformation is in their subsequent actions, and in cases of clemency, those are the actions that should be considered when granting it.

Open source is a fun.

Law.

Continuing Borat-Kazakhistani Hostilities. In an effort to suppress Borat’s message, the government of Kazakhistan has shut down Borat’s official homepage. “We’ve done this so he can’t badmouth Kazakhstan under the .kz domain name,” Nurlan Isin, President of the Association of Kazakh IT Companies, told Reuters [in apparently flawless English]. “He can go and do whatever he wants at other domains.” To protest the Kazakhi government’s crackdown on free speech, here’s a link to a website where you can download every single Ali G video and continue to enjoy Borat’s racist but hilarious message.

U.S. War on Terror continues as War on Media. According to a report released today, the US ranks 6th among the world’s nation for jailing journalists, tied with Myanmar, a military dictatorship with only one-sixth of the population of the US, and just behind 5th place Uzbekistan. The US is currently detaining 5 journalists without charge, 4 in Iraq and 1 in Guantanemo Bay. I’m agnostic about whether these journalists actually are terrorists or otherwise pose a threat to our national security, but holding them without charge makes us look bad in any case.

Innocent Casualties in the War on Christmas Bill O’Reilly, who is fighting an ostensibly defensive war to save Christmas, has fired at two innocent communities. As evidence of the anti-Christmas agenda of the liberal activists, like the 9th Circuit, O’Reilly reported that the town of Saginaw, Michigan [audio] and the school district of Plano, Texas [video], had banned the wearing of Christmas colors. Both reports are apparently factually false.

Coke to launch coffee-infused Coke Blak

I know I’m not the person who reads this board who finds highway naming conventions interesting, so maybe some of you will also find these less-well-known zip-code conventions as interesting as I do.
There’s the first 5 digits:
- Roughly, they increase from east to west (0—- on the east coast, and 9— on west coast).
- The first three digits indicate a “sectional center,” e.g. a city
- the second two digits indicate a specific post office facility
Then there’s the 4 digits that were added in 1983
- the first two indicate several blocks
- the second two indicate either a segment or a side of the street
Let it be known that I don’t find this that interesting, I just wanted to make a post.

Here’ s a troubling statistic for those of us who (1) like to think we’re thoughtful, relatively well-informed and (2) believe in God (though not necessarily religion).

[I]t is often said that science and religious faith are compatible, since the former deals with “how” questions, the latter with “why” questions. As an empirical matter, however, that does not seem to be true. On the whole, around 9 in 10 Americans say they believe in a personal God. When scientists are surveyed, that figure falls to 4 in 10. Among the scientific elite - members of the National Academy of Sciences - fewer than 1 in 10 say they believe in God, with the biologists in particular professing agnosticism or atheism at a rate of 95 percent.

Let’s see… world champions… six game win streak… 16-3 vs. maybe the best team in Atlanta… 7 game losing streak… 2-16. Boom! Hawks 94, Spurs 84! In a world where you can always expect the headline “Hawks Fly High” to follow a Hawks victory, it’s nice to see something so unexpected.

It ain’t no LOTR or Harry Potter movies, but purty good I’d wager. It gets much better toward the end.

At first, you realize that the acting and dialogue between the little British kids is really bad, but then you realize it’s a Disney movie and that not every director is obsessive as Peter Jackson. It’s been some time since I read the Chronicles, but my guess is that dialogue of the last 3/4 of the flick is taken more directly from the text and therefore is much better.

The CGI Aslan is really awesome, but maybe a little dispropotionate head to body ratio. Then again, I’ve never seen a male lion standing up close to me.

The battle scene is really good and the Christian imagery is palpable–same as the books.

All said, I give it 3.5 Snowflakes.

If you need one more or less reason to move to Seattle, smoking is now banned in all public places in the entire state. Smoker’s are pissed. Linda’s will never be the same. I wonder if this will mean a spike in dip sales?

(Props to Courtney for pointing this out to me.)

Ok, folks. You guys from Fayetteville, and particularly Brain (assuming he’s still alive) would be the best to tell me, but do you guys remember how awesome Shiloh Christian and later Springdale High’s football team was??? Do you remember that crazy 4-wide receiver no huddle offense? Well, it’s coming to Don Reynolds Razorback Stadium!!!!

Gus Malzahn will be the Hogs’ new offensive coordinator. Dudes, and non-dudes, I am so excited for next year!